Deanna Moffitt

"Smart, Funny & Insightful"

Reading for Playwrights

Written By: Deanna - Nov• 22•10

Saturday morning I joined a playwrighting class at The Chicago Dramatists as a reader. For two hours another actor and I cold read scenes that each of the students had written for the class. I felt a lot of pressure, not from the writers, but from myself to bring the scripts to life, especially because I knew some of the writers in the room.

It was a really fun muscle to flex and one that perfectly meshed with my storytelling and improv background of being able to interpret emotions and make character choices  quickly. Unfortunately, it was the last class of the session and they won’t start up again until after the first of the year. I do hope I get invited back it was a great way to spend my Saturday morning.

It’s 7am and You Think You Can Dance?

Written By: Deanna - Nov• 21•10

Friday morning at 7am I found myself in the Hyatt Regency ballroom in Columbus, OH, grabbing a seat to get my gawk on. I am there to witness the bronze and silver level heats in the biggest ballroom Pro/Am dance competition in the world, the Ohio Star Ball. My friend Julie’s daughter Haley is dancing, she’s from Portland and I don’t’ want to miss an opportunity to cheer her on. I have no idea what I am in for. Seriously how has Christopher Guest not done a ballroom movie yet?

Now keep in mind I’m only there for the amateur portion, and these are the beginning of the beginners–Haley’s still in high school. But most of these women take this stuff seriously. I say women because almost everyone in this portion of the competition is over 40…well over 40, and female. And seriously because they’re dresses run upwards of $3,000 and are covered in enough sequins to blind an eagle. Their partners are dance instructors from back home, wherever home is, and they are all very good looking and have my gaydar ringing the alarms.

One of my favorite ladies is in her late 60′s, plump, about my height, and wears a hearing aid. Her brassy-blonde hair is plastered up in a perfect Mad Men recreation. She eschews the tanning bed aesthetic employed by most of the other women and instead her pale skin blends in with her light pink sequined gown. She  looks like she is having the time of her life.  While other beginners either have a plastered on smile or the look of fear stricken across their face, she openly laughs as her partner spins her around the room. Her eyes are framed by deep laugh lines that have clearly been earned. She isn’t necessarily the most technical dancer on the floor but I love watching her. Her exuberance fills the room.

What a great lesson for any performer, an audience wants to watch someone on stage who looks like they’re enjoying themselves even when they screw up.

As for Haley she received all first places in each and every category of dance she competed in. I couldn’t have been more happy or proud for her.

And now I’m looking forward to being led around the dance floor by a handsome, young gay man when I’m in my 80′s. You can bet I’ll be wearing sequins, fringe, feathers and a huge smile.

Mark Twain vs Justin Bieber

Written By: Deanna - Nov• 16•10

The fine folks over at The Paper Machete have posted the podcast of the piece I did for them on November 6th. If you’ve got a moment take a listen you’ll probably learn a little something about Mark Twain and Justin Bieber.

What a Week!

Written By: Deanna - Nov• 16•10

It feels like it’s been a crazy week, but it’s been filled with good things. A This Much is True show, a piece written for The Paper Machete, a weekend of work in Las Vegas and a getting to read another story at Essay Fiesta for their one year anniversary.

There’s more good things coming down the pipeline including the formation of The Chicago Story Collective, a group of some of the city’s best storytellers banning together to create something even bigger than what we’ve individually built. We’re putting together our first show to benefit The Howard Brown Health Center on December 10th at Town Hall Pub.

Tonight I start the rehearsal process for “Postmortem” an improv show directed by Don Hall that I’m really looking forward to. Lots of good things happening, I just hope I can manage it all.

Voice Over, Podcasts and Writing…Oh My!!

Written By: Deanna - Aug• 01•10

I’m about to make some fun new changes to my website, adding a page for Voice Over information and one for Podcasts. Steps needed to get a new phase of my career life underway.

In the mean time, you’ll have a couple of opportunities to hear  some of my writing this month. Tuesday, August 10th with “This Much is True” I’ll have a brand new story about the theories I have on why I look familiar to so many people. The show is at The Hopleaf–upstairs at Clark and Foster starting at 7:30pm.

And on Wednesday, August 25th, I’ll dust off one of my old favorites to share with the fine folks at  “Stories at The Store”.  I’ve heard great things about this literary reading series and I can’t wait to join in on the fun. The Store is located at Halsted and Armitage.

Hope to see you one of those nights!

A Rest Stop in Denver

Written By: Deanna - May• 04•10

We rolled into Denver last Thursday to spend a few days with Rance’s sister Seana and her husband Jason. I love these two, they’re so much fun to hang out with and we always eat well when we’re with them. In part because Jason is an aspiring chef. In fact, they just got back from NY after a whirlwind trip he won in a 10 minute cook-off.  The contest, which was sponsored by the Food Network, gave contestants ten minutes to create a dish from scratch. Jason managed to make chocolate cake AND ice-cream. He’s really excited about the science of cooking and molecular manipulation and beat out the other contestants with his wizardry.

Bro and Sis enjoy some java.

Bro and Sis enjoy some java.

So while we generally go out to a restaurant that they want to share with us, my personal favorite is having Jason cook. This trip was no exception, he prepped fourteen, count ‘em–14–heads of garlic for a pasta cream sauce with shrimp and pork belly. I don’t know how he did it, but the sauce which was definitely garlicky was also creamy and rich. And the pork belly, the pork belly had a perfectly crunchy exterior and a moist, juicy inside.

Seana and Jason, love you guys.

Seana and Jason, love you guys.

Jason would love to come to Chicago and intern in the kitchen of one the city’s great restaurants. I hope he does, and I hope he stays with us, but most of all I just hope he keeps cooking.

South Dakota Salvation

Written By: Deanna - May• 03•10

Traveling during the off season has it’s pluses and minuses. A definite plus: there’s far fewer people to contend with. Also, it’s pretty easy to drive into any town and get a hotel room. A plus or minus depending on how you look at it is that almost all of the normal tourist traps are closed–Bear Country, USA: CLOSED; Rushmore Caves: CLOSED; Rushmore Waterslide: CLOSED.

We made it, and look it's lit up by mother nature.

We made it, and look it's lit up by mother nature.

It's a grand view.

It's a grand view.

But what isn’t closed is what we really came out here to see: Mt. Rushmore, Crazy Horse and the Black Hills. Mt. Rushmore was great, I think it’s a sight everyone should try to see at some point. It’s just an incredible feat of sculpture in a beautiful setting. But what was really impressive to me was the drive in and around the Black Hills to Crazy Horse. Such a beautiful part of the country, I can understand why the Lakota Indians consider this sacred land.

I wasn’t really even sure what the Crazy Horse Monument was, Rance was just sure we needed to see it. We both gulped a bit when we were told it was $10 per person to enter the memorial area. Especially because off in the distance you can see that Crazy Horse is definitely a work in progress. But we were here, I mean we might as well go in and see what it’s all about. And I’m so glad we did.

At first we were wondering what the hell did we just pay $20 to come in and see? What kind of suckers are we? And then we were ushered in to a theater in the middle of the museum to watch a mini-documentary on the history of the Crazy Horse Memorial and the man behind the vision. By the end, my appreciation for what was around us, and where we were, and the intention and motivation behind all of it grew 100 fold. Basically it’s one man, and now his family–the Ziolkowski’s, who hold the vision for not only what will ultimately be the largest sculpture in the world but a whole memorial and campus area. What was even more impressive is that they have turned down 10 million dollars from the US government not once, but twice so they could hold onto their original vision without the federal government monkeying up the works.

The model and what will be in the distance.

The model and what will be in the distance.

Crazy Horse will probably not be completed in my lifetime, I’m just so glad I got to see it in progress and that with my admittance fee and purchases I can say in a small way. . .I was a part of that.

Yikes, Get Me Across South Dakota

Written By: Deanna - May• 01•10

Okay, here’s the deal–the west side of Minnesota and eastern South Dakota are parts of the country that make you think, why the hell would anyone live here? It’s desolate and flat–at least the parts you can see from the freeway, which is oh, so, straight and mind numbing.

The flat grasslands allow you to see for miles, and miles, the only problem is there’s nothing to see. Except when the sky starts to put on a show, which it did for us. It became a kaleidoscope of swirling grays, threatening a storm that would stretch to eternity, only somehow we avoided the angry wrath of those dark clouds with only a few drops of rain.

Pretty skies, boring road.

Pretty skies, boring road.

Our morning diversion was to pull off into Mitchell, SD to see The Corn Palace. I really had no idea of what to expect, Rance has done a great job of finding the things we need to see during the trip so far. So imagine my surprise to see a building covered in murals and designs entirely comprised of corn. Those wacky mid-westerners!

Corn Palace--now with Segway mural

Corn Palace--now with Segway mural

We went inside, because honestly, I still didn’t know what kind of building it was, to find two lovely ladies manning the entrance. Well, they could not wait to give these two city-folk a lesson in history on The Corn Palace. We learned that the corn is selected and grown each year specifically for the building, that they didn’t have the plans yet for this summer but they should be coming soon. That there’s a huge festival in late summer when the new design goes up and that the Weselyan basketball team plays there. We hear they’re pretty good.

While in Mitchell I stopped at a coffee shop that billed itself as “The World’s Best Coffee House.” I would guess that the proprietors have not traveled much or have a very small world that they live in. They did however, have several bibles just laying around in case I needed some inspiration to get back on the road, I did not. Thankfully, the Doll Museum was closed I wasn’t up for that kind of terror.

We were back on the road in a fitful drive. We’re doing this drive in a car that no longer has a functioning air-conditioner. And though it’s not hot outside the sun is heating us like an easy-bake oven. Rance and I trade off driving duties every 100 miles or so and on this portion of the drive we do it more frequently. It’s crazy how tired you can get not doing a damn thing but driving on a straight road.

Finally, after hours of driving we turn off into The Badlands National Park. South Dakota finally has something to brag about. This place is incredible in its natural beauty and incredible terrain. Looking out at an overlook it’s hard to imagine anyone traversing this area, it’s just simply breathtaking. We drove through the park, oohing and ahhing. . .we saw mountain sheep, and prairie dogs and wild turkeys. And because we are doing this in April–off season–there were hardly any other cars to be seen. At times we felt like we had the entire park to ourselves.

The bad ass badlands.

The bad ass badlands.

It's like the Acid War Zone--only there's no lava.

It's like the Acid War Zone--only there's no lava.

We came to a junction and had a choice to travel out of the park and back up to the free-way or continue on in the park, though we’d be driving on a gravel road. Rance wanted the free-way, I wanted the parkway and since I was driving, I won. Not far from the junction we encountered our first herd of Buffalo. They were right there on the road, but that was only the first. We came upon several more along the drive and enjoyed a fading sun as we drove out of the park. I loved it and felt like South Dakota had redeemed itself, if only a little bit.

The buffalo on the right had a head, I swear. .

We drove into Rapid City, got a hotel and a dinner which was too long in coming. Rance really wanted to see if we could get to Mt. Rushmore so we could see it lit up at night. So after finishing dinner we hopped in the car to drive the 26 miles to Mt. Rushmore. By this time it was around 8:30 and I joked that wouldn’t it be funny if they turned the lights off at 9pm?

Rance did his best Mario Andretti impersonation up and around the hills towards Mt. Rushmore. We descended into Keystone, SD and as we drove back up the hill towards Mt. Rushmore we saw a glance of the monument lit-up in all it’s glory. We took a bend in the road and the lights went out. It was 9pm. Technically, we did see Rushmore lit up–for about 1/2 a second. We got up to the parking structure and turned around in darkness. We’ll be back in the morning, at least we know how to get there.

Problem Solved in Onalaska

Written By: Deanna - Apr• 30•10

The alarm went off at 7:30am Tuesday morning, because we wanted to get a hold of a mechanic first thing in the morning so they could take a look at our car. Out of the handful of mechanics and garages in Onalaska I picked out Dee’s, mostly because the name was similar to mine. Yes, I know that’s like picking out a computer because you like its color, but at 7:30 that’s how my brain was functioning. After explaining our situation they told us to bring the car down and they would take a look at it.

As soon as we drove in they took our key and got to work. Within a half-hour they diagnosed the problem: a faulty sensor.   While we waited for the part to arrive, we went over to a cute little restaurant called Nutbush which featured beer-battered pancakes.  An hour went by and we got the call the car was fixed. . .$68.50 later and we were back on the road.   My 10-year-old Jetta is still working like a champ.

Our first adventure was to Wykoff, MN to check out Ed’s Museum. It was closed when we arrived which was disheartening since we just drove 55 miles out of our way to get there. We decided to check out a small grocery store across the street only to have the fortunate experience of running into Esther eating her lunch. Esther is one of the caretakers of the museum and was willing to give us a tour even though she was trying to focus on her clean-up duties.

Ed's Museum

Ed's Museum

Let’s just say Ed was a hoarder. He kept EVERYTHING and at his death gave the house and all of his belongings to the town with the stipulation that it be turned into a museum. It’s a good thing I wasn’t put in charge of getting that place organized and cleaned up because most of it would have gone to the dump. But the good folks in charge have seen to it that all of his belongings have been sorted, cleaned and categorized for all of posterity, including his dead cat which still sits on a shelf in the basement in a box. It’s a real slice of Americana, and gives you a good feel for life in days-gone-by.

Esther shows off Ed's dead cat.

Esther shows off Ed's dead cat.

From Ed’s we drove to Bloomington, MN to the Mall of America. Honestly, I’m kind of mall’d out. It seems like every stop on our Hawaiian cruise contract had a mall that became a regular visiting place. I’m just not a mall rat; that being said, The Mall of America is ridiculous. My overriding thought the whole time was, “does anybody ever make it to the third floor”? Ground level was enough for me, and after one turn on the The Sponge Bob Adventure Ride I was ready to hurl my lunch and call it a day. It all seemed rather empty and sad. I’m hoping that it’s just because it was a Tuesday in spring and not because it’s a huge,  soon-to-be vestige of mass consumerism.

Next stop: Darwin, MN to get a gander at the World’s Largest Ball of Twine–made by one man. Minnesota is a beautiful drive, there really are 1,000 lakes to see and and lots of rolling hills to roll over. And for this stop the trip is all about the journey not so much the destination. Because truthfully, it’s a big ball of twine and it makes me wonder if someone sets out with the idea long ago to make the biggest ball, or if it just starts itself and you have no way of controlling your compulsion to wrap twine around an ever expanding ball until one day you have to build a separate gazebo to house the damn thing.

Now that's a big ball.

Now that's a big ball.

Leaving Darwin, we are in a race to beat out the sunset and see the World’s Largest Ear of Corn in Olivia, MN. It’s a race we end up losing, but in the middle we find ourselves in the most amazing sandwich of setting sun and rising moon. The sky is a blaze of hot pink, magenta and warm orange on our right, and cool blues with a bright almost full moon on our left. It’s breath taking, and we’re not sure which way to look as the colors are ever changing.

The moon side of the sandwich.

The moon side of the sandwich.

We finally role into Olivia, MN only to see the World’s Largest Ear of Corn and say, “huh, that’s it”? Well, at least there’s a Subway right next door. We got something to eat and continued on hoping to knock out another 100 miles or so before stopping for the night in Windom, MN.

Yep, that's a big corn.

Yep, that's a big corn.

Road Trip Begins

Written By: Deanna - Apr• 27•10

Rance and I are in a bit of a holding pattern while we wait for our sublet to become available. We’re going to move into our friend Padraic’s place while he goes out to sea for five months, but he doesn’t leave until May 7th. So, in the interim, Rance and I are traveling around America seeing what the country has to offer.

Our ultimate goal is to see the Grand Canyon. After taking in Waimea Canyon on Kauai, the place Mark Twain called the Grand Canyon of the pacific, we wanted to see the real deal. But with eleven days to kill we’re taking a round-a-bout way to get there.

Yesterday we headed northwest from Chicago with an agreement to stop at anything that sounds interesting to either of us. We didn’t make it too far into WI, before our first stop: Mar’s Cheese Castle. How can you not want to stop at a castle? Imagine our disappointment to find it neither a castle, nor is it made of cheese. It did however have a fantastic array of grossly named hot sauces, names like: “MegaSoreAss,” “Fiery Fart,” and “Ass in Hell.” Needless to say, Mar’s Cheese Castle provided us several minutes of laughing like 8-year-old boys.

Continuing our travels west we took a small detour off the freeway to get a gander at the Wisconsin Dells area. I’ve only heard about this wonderland, and it being late it wasn’t really showing itself in all it’s glory. Most of the attractions were still closed for the season, but we got the gist of this hot-spot of the north. My guess is it’s probably a perfect place for roaming packs of hormone-racing teenagers or families with younger kids, but it looks like the last place I would want to be on a summer day. Maybe someone can tell me different; otherwise, I doubt I’ll ever see The Dells in full bloom.

It was here though that the first hitch in our road trip plans occurred; the oil pressure light came on. Uh, oh. Rance had the oil changed last week, and there was plenty of oil in the tank. The car wasn’t running weird, but there it was, that damn flashing light. Oddly though, it went off after we drove a few miles on the highway. It’s always a little nerve-wracking to have something go wrong with the car. I don’t know what goes on under that hood and feel like I have a flashing neon sign on my forehead whenever I have to walk into a garage: SUCKER. So I breathed a sigh of relief that the light went out.

We found a cheap, but clean hotel in Onalaska, WI, and took a quick refresher nap before getting back in the car so we could catch a showing of “Kick Ass.” We weren’t in the car more than five minutes before the oil pressure light and alarm went off again. Crap. Of course that didn’t stop us from seeing the movie, I mean we do have our priorities. We’ll get that oil problem straightened out in the morning, hopefully it doesn’t blow our entire budget.

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