Two Weeks Of Fun All Packed Into One Post

I know, I know, it’s been almost a full two weeks since I posted on my blog. These past two weeks have been a frustrating time for the internet and me. I thought for sure that maybe we’d broken up for good, that the internet didn’t want to have anything more to do with me, and my constant neediness was pushing it away. But today after a good ol’ knock-down-drag-out fight with me and the internet’s representative from AT&T, I think we got things settled. Though I still feel a little hurt from being rejected, I’m ready to put it all behind me and move on.

So what have I been doing all this time? Well, there was Waimea Canyon, also known as the Grand Canyon of the Pacific. Rance, Piero, Mike and I rented a car in Kauai and drove all over the island. It was really the first time, I’d seen anything much past the port and boy is it a beautiful island. More than any other island the dirt in Kauai is that deep, rich colored red, which also makes the photos stunning.

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I still contend this is a bad haircut, but a beautiful view

I still contend this is a bad haircut, but a beautiful view

We finished off the day by meeting Richard and Steven the two guys who found my phone in Kauai around Christmas time. We met them up in their part of the island on the north side in a little town called Hanalei (you know where Puff the Magic Dragon lives). They were GREAT! Just so fun and laid back and we made tentative plans to have dinner at their house in the next few weeks and we’re going to put our heads together and hopefully pull of a benefit show for the theater scene here in Hawaii.

Our good friend Tamara Nolte also came aboard and stayed with Mikey for a week. It was so much fun to have her on board, even though her arrival was made difficult due to mechanical failure on her plane. She wasn’t able to get into Honolulu until after we left port, which meant she had to take another flight from Honolulu to Hilo the next morning. But being the super trooper that she is she got here and was ready to take it all in. Mike got her signed up with us on a crew excursion to Akaka Falls in Hilo and she immediately fit right in with the crew and had a blast.

Akaka Falls on Hilo

Akaka Falls on Hilo

Tamara shows off her triathelete form on banyan tree roots.

Tamara shows off her triathelete form on banyan tree roots.

The next day we took her to Black Rock on Ka’anapali in Maui for her first ever snorkeling adventure. We had another ship in port that day so it was a little more crowded than it would be normally for us but it was near perfect conditions. We even got to snorkel with a huge sea turtle…it was amazing. Tamara brought with her a huge bag of Garret’s Popcorn which I personally could not get enough of. It was the Chicago mix of cheese and caramel and it was delectable.

After snorkeling we took Tamara to the top of Heleakala for sunset. This time the cloud cover was a little lower and we got there a little earlier so we got to see the inside crater, which looked like some sort of mars landscape. From our vantage point you could see the hiking trails into the caldera but then after watching two tiny little specks making their way out we realized just how long and tiring that trail must be. It does not look to be for the faint of heart or unprepared.

Crater of Haleakala

Crater of Haleakala

Afterwards Mike and I took Tamara to our favorite pizza place on the island and devoured not one but two pizza’s between the three of us, and yet I still wonder why I can’t lose these 5 lbs.

The rest of the week, was pretty low-key for me. Tamara and Mike had a great adventure in Kauai on an open air helicopter ride. I wish I could have gone but I’m still recovering financially from my quick trip to Portland. But I hope to get it in before leaving this contract. I think Mike and Tamara sold us on the idea that it’s a worthwhile trip.

Yesterday, after saying good-bye to Tamara, a few of us hopped on a bus to Waikiki to check out the setup for the final season of “Lost” premier happening at sunset on the beach. I’m sure if I watched the show it would have been amazing, I left early but fortunately Piero stayed long enough to see most of the major stars of the show on the red carpet. He got some great photos and had a great experience. I’m still not dying to see the show, but maybe this week I’ll start. Maybe.

Internet Snafoo

I’ve been dealing with sketchy internet connections for the past  two weeks and now and I think I’ve finally got everything working the way it’s supposed to, so you’ll be seeing more action here again soon. For now, I’ll tell you we have a visitor on board, one Ms. Tamara Nolte who is a friend of all of ours from Chicago. It’s fun to have her here and to show her some of the places we’ve loved on the islands. And for her I’m sure it’s a great get-away from work, school and the weather.

Birthday Time!

I have a love/hate relationship with my birthday. I don’t like the stress and anxiety of making a declarative statement of “this is what I want to do” in fear that whatever I chose will not live up to expectations. But I do love it when it’s a day spent doing something fun for everybody involved. So when I woke up yesterday after spending the night before pouring over a guide book of Maui, deciding to snorkel in an area called Black Rock only to wake up to cloudy, cool skies I could feel my anxiety rising.

I bring down my Discovering Maui Guidebook and a package of weight management oatmeal (see previous post) and join the cast for breakfast on the back lanai. “What are we doing for your birthday?” everyone asks in one form or another. “I don’t know” is my response, “I’d planned a day of snorkeling, but it looks a little too cool for that”. They all agree and continue their conversation as I begin to frantically flip through the book. And that’s when I see it. I had missed it last night focusing on beach activities. A hike called the Acid War Zone to the blowhole Nalele. The book describes it as beautiful and surreal, an experience you won’t have anywhere else. That’s what we’re doing for my cast birthday celebration.

Rance has arranged a mini-van for the day and after picking it up, we head out on the highway to the northwestern part of the island. As we drive the clouds burn off and the temperature begins to heat up, it’s a beautiful day. We make a stop on our way to Lahaina to watch whales, lots of them blowing plumes of water into the air. Piero takes this opportunity to look like a ridiculous business man talking on his blue tooth phone.

Piero is very important and also quite a business man.

Piero is very important and also quite a business man.

We continue on our way to lunch in Lahaina. I pick out a place recommended in the guide book to find out that on Sunday’s it only opens for dinner…anxiety rises. But the group comes through and we quickly agree on a restaurant on the water offering reasonably priced fish and chips and mai-tai’s for only $3.00. The drinks are good, the food, even better. I settle on a seared ahi sandwich with garlic chips and wasabi aioli, it’s high-grade tuna that almost melts in my mouth.

My Mai Tai cherry has a baby, I still eat it.

My Mai Tai cherry has a baby, I still eat it.

After lunch, we all pile pack into the van and continue on our way north. The road curves around the top of the island to a part of Maui I’ve never been in any of my visits. And it is beautiful! The road, which takes you along high cliff tops, all of a sudden dips down momentarily to a rocky bay area. We park, get out and scramble over the rocky beach. There’s this weird duality of facing the huge pounding surf with high rocky, red walled cliffs on either side of you and immediately behind you is a lush, quiet natural clear water stream, pooling up before it leaks and mixes with the salty ocean.  We take pictures, do bits, and get excited for the next unknown right around the corner.

Our Christian Rock Album Cover

Our Christian Rock Album Cover

The road rises quickly back up from the ocean floor inward a bit from the ocean and at mile marker 38 we park the van to head into the hike called Acid War Zone. It was given that name because as the island was forming and lava was spewing out, the wind, which on this part of the island can be pretty strong, would move and shape the still warm lava into the most incredibly surreal shapes. It really does look like something a set builder would create for a 1970’s sci-fi movie.

A tidal pool seen from 50 yards above.

A tidal pool seen from 50 yards above.

Although there are several paths to get to the blowhole we choose the lesser used but certainly more breathtaking (and dangerous) path along the cliff side. From our vantage point we can see how the pounding surf has eroded the cliffs into these incredible shapes with pools and arches. It’s quite rocky and with tiny loose gravel underneath, our footing is never sure. But the views more than make up for any fear. We climb up to a light beacon and then descend into the Acid War Zone area. It really is surreal.

Hot as hell in the Acid War Zone

Hot as hell in the Acid War Zone

Rance bounds ahead and spots the first blowhole we’re warned about in the guidebook. Warned because though impressive it’s not THE blowhole that is still about 100 yards away, hidden behind a wall of lava formations. Apparently a lot of visitors see this one and think it’s the blowhole they’ve read about only to miss the incredible display just a bit further. This one does comes from a hole that’s been eroded out of the side of a lava wall, and the force of the water coming through creates a loud booming sound, as if the water is in it’s own ampi-theater.

The imposter

The imposter

Rance leads the way up and over the lava bed to a cliff area looking over a two feet diameter hole in a lava shelf over the water. We don’t have to wait for long when a surge of water rushes underneath the shelf and forces a plume of water up the hole about 200 feet into the air. This is THE blowhole! The force of it is incredible and the mist and spray just misses our chosen lookout point..

The real deal

The real deal

We stand in awe of this natural sea geyser from here for about 5 minutes when Piero says “if we go over to the other side we’ll see the rainbows”. Going to the other side means passing through the shower area from the after affect of spout. We all manage to time it right not to get too wet. And we await the next plume. And as soon as it comes up a rainbow creates itself following the path of the water. It’s a magical site to see a rainbow suddenly appear and then travel through the sky from left to right.

It's magical!!

It's magical!!

We get about ½ hour of quite serene watching the power of the sea until a group of teenagers who are clearly traveling through Hawaii descend upon the blowhole. About 15 of them hold hands around the circle and scream their bloody heads off every time the water shoots up. Several of the nim noms stick their faces over the blowhole apparently wanting a face full of water and not understanding the power. They only try that once. But their screaming and antics break our spell and signal our return through the Acid War Zone to our car.

On our way back we stop in at the Whaler’s Village, a high-end outdoor mall in Ka’anapali. It’s also connected to one of the most beautiful beaches in Hawaii. We look around the mall and then I announce I’m going to go check out the beach. Everyone comes out and though none of us are dressed for it, and for some the idea of sitting on a sandy beach in their hot sweaty hiking clothes may be the last thing they want to do, we all sit and take in the sunset. It’s just a perfect moment in a great day.

What a bunch of goofballs.

What a bunch of goofballs.

But by now we’re all hungry again and the smells coming from the restaurants that line the beach are so enticing. But there’s a restaurant I want to try all the way on the other side of the island in the town of Pi’aia, called Milagros. And so the day continues into night and we head back across the island into the last town on the road to Hana, before it becomes a seemingly never ending stretch of twists and turns. I love the feel of this little town it’s kind of hippie eclectic, Little individually owned shops and great restaurants. I’ve only been here at night though so I really need to make a day of it at some point to get the real feel.

Milagros delivers on all of the promises written about in the guidebook, plus Jen and Larrance had brought Jen’s parents here just the week before. Great margaritas and the food, the food was soooo good. Sometimes when you eat with a group of people, one person gets a meal that they don’t like or just doesn’t look or taste as god as everyone else’s. Here everything was fantastic. I had a burrito the size of a small baby. Now I know I wouldn’t be able to eat a full baby in one sitting, no matter how hungry I am.

A burrito the size of my head...yum.

A burrito the size of my head...yum.

We finished our meal and headed back to the ship. It was a great day, with great friends with little to no anxiety. Now if I could only make that declarative statement about what I want to do with my life.

I’ll Cut this Short

Snip. Sometimes with the moment that scissors meet the hair shaft you can tell if it’s going to be a good haircut or a bad haircut. This one is a bad haircut. I wanted to just yell stop as soon as he started cutting, but I didn’t. When the trimmers came out I knew for sure it was too short in the back But I didn’t say a word, I just let me him continue on his hack job. Joshua chatters away telling me way too much about his personal life, abusive boyfriend, masturbation, Elton John they are all brief talking points as the scissors continue whacking away.

And just when I think it’s over, when he puts down the scissors for the hairdryer and I get a moment to take in the damage that’s been done and the irony behind waiting three months for a haircut so I can go to one of the more expensive places on the island. Joshua says he needs to texturize my hair. He’s right my hair at this length can sometimes look like a mushroom cap, especially in the heat and humidity of Hawaii. And I watch in silent horror as the thinning scissors go to work and my thick hair is clear-cut to within an inch of its life.

When he’s done Joshua is clearly pleased with his work. He spins me around and hands me a mirror to show me the back of my hair, which honestly does look good, it’s just not at all what I wanted. It’s the front that I’m mostly concerned with and that my friends, is an entirely different matter. The front is choppy and yet thin and wispy, none of which are normal attributes used to describe my hair. When he turns me back around he says, “You look fierce”. I’m not sure I’m the “fierce” type. He’s obviously a taken aback when my response is less than effusive. In fact, what I want to say is “I hate it”, but I mumble something about not expecting it to be so short and that I ‘m sure it will grow out well.

All of this is of course my own learning lesson, to be clearer about what I want and more assertive when things veer off plan. Which is applicable to more areas of my life than the hair salon.

After paying AND tipping, (talk about adding insult to injury) I spend the rest of the day catching glimpses of myself and wanting to scream, kick and cry. My birthday is tomorrow and not only have I gained 5 holiday pounds that I’ve yet to lose, I’ve got a fierce haircut that I now get to spend the next several months growing out and cursing. Maybe 2010 won’t be my year after all.

The evidence speaks for itself.

The evidence speaks for itself.

A Week’s Worth of Activities

I signed off the ship last week to take a very quick trip to Portland for the funeral of of the father one of my closest friends, Linda. I’ve known here since I was 12 years old and I’m the godmother to her son (though admittedly, I’m not very godly). The reason to be there was horrible, but it was so good to see my friends in person. We do most of corresponding through email and texts, and it’s just so good to see both her and Julie, my other dear friend, in the flesh. The three of us of have traveled all over the place and done some exciting adventures together, we call ourselves the Bella’s after we spent two weeks in Italy. For me it’s so great to have these ladies in my life, they’re not performers so we never talk about improv or sketch or comedy. They’re both moms who have great kids and great husbands. I get to live my life vicariously through them and hopefully they enjoy the stories I tell them of living a vagabond’s life traveling and making people laugh.

The Bella's in Portland

The Bella's in Portland

We went on a snorkeling and whale watching excursion for the crew on Maui and it was pretty damn incredible. Not the snorkeling so much, we were going to go to Molokini but there was a storm blowing in so we went to an area called Coral Gardens. It did have pretty great coral but the fish were in limited supply. Though, Piero and Mike did swim with a turtle.

I’m guessing the fish were in limited supply because the whales were in abundance! I’ve never been so close to a pod of whales they were literally right next to the boat, well, the baby whale was anyway. The mother and escort were swimming right below us even the captain of the boat said he’s never been that close to a pod of whales in his 30 years of sailing. It was incredible, unfortunately, I don’t have any photos because I was just too taken aback by it all to get my camera. So, you’ll just have to trust me when I say it was amazing.

It was real low-key the rest of the week. Next week there’s lots of plans in the works. It’s my birthday on Monday which means the whole week should be an adventure.

Let’s Take You on a Tour

It’s Wednesday on the ship airplane and it’s been a pretty low key week so far. Our shows on Monday were really fun, I love performing with this cast. We’ve all bonded pretty tightly and enjoy finding fun new bits within the framework of the show to keep it fresh for all of us. We’re all a bit sad to see a big turnover in the tech crew happening soon, as these guys and gals are some of the best I’ve ever worked with anywhere.

In fact all of the crew on board could not be more supportive, I really have never felt more home away from home on a contract. I requested a leave of absence over the weekend so I could go to Portland and be with one of my dearest friend’s in the whole world as her dad had passed away. It takes quite a bit of approval for something like that to happen and I have to say the people involved could not have made it easier.

And so in honor of this ship, uh, airplane. I share with you a personal tour of the place I call home.

NYE and Turtles Storming the Beach

NYE on a ship airplane and once again it did not disappoint. For some reason on land this always seems like a stressful holiday with so many unvoiced expectations but I always end up having a great time here on the sea. We can blow it out and then go to bed and have no worries that we should have been doing something else. There’s nothing else to do!! Really though, it was a good time with good friends. Because I’d never actually had real champagne before I toasted the year off right with a $21 glass of the real stuff from France it was MUCH better than the stuff they served for free later on, though I happily drank them both.

New Years Eve dinner with my man

New Years Eve dinner with my man

On Saturday the cast took an adventure to the North Shore in Oahu to see the turtles. And they did not disappoint!

Although this one does seem bored with my bits.

A huge yawn or a huge smile, you decide.

A huge yawn or a huge smile, you decide.

Photo’s and Video and Blurbs Oh My!

This last couple weeks have been a blur what with the holidays and major swells and what not so I here’s a roundup from the past few weeks in photos and videos.

Larrance is apparently scared of whale watching. The cast goes on a hike in Honolulu.

Larrance is apparently scared of whale watching. The cast goes on a hike in Honolulu.

Here’s a picture of Catalina, our room steward on Christmas Eve, she was delighted with the fresh lei I made for her with my own two hands. It was a blast to make and I loved seeing her face light up when I gave it to her.

Catalina our room steward

Catalina our room steward

We had Christmas dinner with the crew in the main dining room. The food was actually pretty good, much better than on the international ships. It seems US chefs know what stuffing is supposed to look at taste like. After we ate the whole cast worked for an hour busing tables for the rest of the crew who were eating. We all loved giving back a little to those who are serving us day in an day out.

Christmas dinner on the ship.

Christmas dinner on the ship.

Mike seems a little perplexed by the Bean Boozled game instructions.

Mike seems a little perplexed by the Bean Boozled game instructions.

Jen loves the t-shirt she got from her Secret Santa

Jen loves the t-shirt she got from her Secret Santa

Rance could not be happier with his Secret Santa's gift choice for him. I on the other hand wish he could play it on mute with the same level of enjoyment.

Rance could not be happier with his Secret Santa's gift choice for him. I on the other hand wish he could play it on mute with the same level of enjoyment.

The entire cast at Christmas with our Secret Santa gifts.

The entire cast at Christmas with our Secret Santa gifts.

Rance doesn't seem so tall under the banyan trees.

Rance doesn't seem so tall under the banyan trees.

Christmas on a ship, uh I mean airplane

This was the third Christmas I’ve spent on a cruise ship airplane in as many years. And I have to say this one was just a blast. We each drew names of one of the other cast members with the stipulation that the couples couldn’t pull their partners name. The week leading up to Christmas we left Secret Santa gifts in our person’s stocking. The stockings, which really were hung with care on each of our doors, were given to us by one of the other guest entertainers on board.

My Secret Santa clearly knew my tastes because almost all of my gifts were of the sweet variety; chocolates, chocolate toffee, and more chocolate. It was so fun to wake up every day and what was in our stockings. And even more fun was finding the little things that I thought my person might  enjoy.

Then on Christmas Eve after our improv show, we all gathered our gifts for each other and went upstairs to one of the conference rooms. Some of us went over to the Lanai Bar and got some Christmas cheer. I had the bartender make me a brand new drink we dubbed “Merry Happy Christmas”, a concoction of Butterschapps, Goldenschlagger and eggnog with some chocolate sprinkles. It was decadent and warm and so tasty.

We toasted the evening, the good times and the friendship we’ve shared so far on this contract and then got down to the funtimes. One of the gifts Rance’s Secret Santa (Mike) had gotten him was a box of jelly beans called Bean Boozled. There were multiple pairings of colors. Only one of the same colored beans was a good flavor and one was something horrible that should not be ingested, like skunk spray, pencil shavings and rotten egg. We then began challenging each other to pick a color and two people would square off. It was hilarious.

The best part is Mike put together a video of some of the pairing for your enjoyment. I hope never have to eat ear wax. (There is some swearing so please be aware if you have sensitivity to such issues)

We finished the night by opening our big gift from each of our Secret Santas but not before each of us on the count of three pointed to who we thought was our secret santa. Only Rance got it right, we all did a good job of keeping the secret.

Rance and I finished off the night with our own gift exchange.  Rance was very generous with me and gave me a Kindle, which I’m really excited about. For anyone who reads a lot, it’s a wonderful gift. Thanks babe!!

Synchronicity Strikes Again

Okay, so here’s the deal. Last week in Kauai I lost my phone. As Rance will attest I’ve almost done this several times in the past, and last week it came to fruition. It may have been a subconscious response to the immoral coveting I’ve felt for Larrance’s new iPhone. Althouh I don’t want to pay the outrageous monthly fees associated with the iPhone I do love all the bells and whistles it has. I have a Blackberry Pearl and while it handles my calls, emails, and texts it can’t  calculate my latitude and longitude and tell me the constellations I’m looking at on a moonless night.

So, after the initial shock and horror of actually losing my phone I call my carrier T-Mobile right away to report it lost or stolen. I mean I did go back to where I left it and it was gone, and it wasn’t turned in to mall security so I figured someone saw the phone and gave themselves an early Christmas gift. The customer service rep on the phone is out of this world helpful. Which is one of the other reasons why I haven’t switched to the iPhone. I’ve got a great service plan with lots of minutes, and all the texting and data a girl could want for a reasonable price.

So Danny, the customer service rep, helps me out and gets my sim card locked on my lost/stolen phone and then we begin talking about replacement phones. After confirming that I don’t have a back up phone or a friend with a phone I can use for the next few months. Danny goes ahead and waves the three months I still have to become eligible for an upgrade. Now we’re talking.

We begin discussing new phones, specifically new Blackberry phones since my Blackberry contract is so primo. As it turns out they’ve just released their brand new Blackberry 9700 with many of the bells and whistles that has me going gaga over the iphone. It’s a pricey number to be sure, but with a new contract it brings the price  down to a more reasonable number. Since he can’t mail the phone to a post office box we make arrangements for me to pick up the phone in Maui.

Saturday rolls around and I’m strolling around the Ala Moana Center wIth Mike when he gets a call. After a look of brief confusion he says, “oh, well I’m with her right now”. He hands me the phone and I hear the voice of an angel; an angel that found my phone in Kauai and was trying to find me so he could get it returned. Which of course is such a wonderful thing, but I have just made arrangements with T-Mobile to get a new upgraded phone. And now this guys is saying I don’t really have to do that.  I feel conflicted because now I don’t really need the new phone, but I  really want it. And this guy is doing a really, REALLY nice thing by trying to get my phone back to me.

Sunday rolls around and Rance and I go to the mall where the T-Mobile store is. I talk to Scott the nice guy wearing a T-Mobile name badge and tell him the situation; that I’ve lost my phone and Danny at customer service has arranged for me to get an upgraded phone. Scott looks up my file and starts reading the notes and then looks up and says…”Oh, your phone’s been found. Some guy has it and he’s left his number. I’ve only seen this one other time before, this is amazing.”

He hands me a piece of paper with the nice guy’s phone number on it and says, “now you don’t have to buy a new phone.” Now I’m really second guessing myself. I feel like the universe is trying to tell me not to upgrade, to just get my phone back and yet my  selfish desires keep pushing me to get the new phone.

Rance and I leave the T-Mobile store not wanting to seem ungrateful for the revelation. We walk over to Starbucks while I come up with a plan. I’m going to tell Scott I spoke with the guy (which technically I have) but I won’t be able to get the phone until after Christmas and I would really like to have a phone for the holidays. Which is exactly what I do when I go back to the store.

Scott seems okay with this and so I shell over some cash and Scott gives me a shiny, brand new Blackberry 9700. I’m immediately enamored with the beautiful colors, and screen resolution. Things look amazing on this phone and it has a camera as well as takes video. It seems light years ahead of my Pearl. I will admit though that my thumbs seem to mash the buttons a bit while texting. Rance assures me though that I’ll get used to it.

For the first few days of my new Blackberry 9700 I’m in love. I take it everywhere and get lost in the URL’s and videos  to which I now have easy access. The honeymoon breaks down after trying to synch my phone with my contacts on my MacBook running OSX 10.4. Without buying a third party software that may or may not work I am out of luck. And then in Hilo my service goes haywire and I’m not even able to pull up a map.

Jerry at T-Mobile tells me the reason I’m having problems is because they’re upgrading their Blackberry system and he also confirms that currently there’s no way for me to synch my Blackberry with my MacBook. And that little voice in the back of my head that has been listening to what the universe is trying to tell me screams, “You should just take the phone back. You don’t need to spend that money, your old phone is perfectly fine and does everything you need it to.

This leads me back to the Good Samaritan  in Kauai. I call him to make arrangements to pick up my old phone on Christmas eve. After getting the business part of the conversation out of the way, I ask a few questions about him. It turns out that he and his partner are very well connected in the theater scene in Kauai. When I tell him that I work for a mega-comedy institution, he is flabbergasted, he’s a huge fan. In fact he has an apartment in the John Hancock tower in Chicago and goes to see shows at the mega-comedy institution quite often when he’s in town.

And then the conversation heads down the path of the possibility of doing shows in Kauai, which I know this cast would love to do. Even if it was just a long form improv show, they just don’t get that kind of entertainment here on the island he says. And maybe even the possibility of doing workshops, which is a goal I made  for myself on this contract.

I picked up my old phone yesterday, it was right where he said it would leave it at the Mariott Hotel. We’re going to meet in early January and talk about some possibilities. But first I’ve got to take that Blackberry 9700 back I don’t really need it anyway.