I’m currently writing 10 jokes a day, here’s some of the best of this past week.
The Obama’s next door neighbor is selling his home in Chicago and predicting the home will sell for somewhere around $2 million because while the kitchen and bathrooms need substantial renovation, the home has “good bones.” The real estate agent added, some of which have found their way from Burr Oak Cemetery, so you know they’re good.
Gertrude Baines, the world’s oldest person, has died in Los Angeles, California, at the age of 115. Her nurse said she never drank, never smoked and never fooled around, which ironically means she never lived.
Walt Disney World is about to embark on a sweeping facelift for the Fantasyland section of the Magic Kingdom, in what the resort calls the biggest overhaul in the theme park’s 38-year history. “It feels like we might be starting a little late at 38 years old”, reported project foreman, Joan Rivers.
The USDA says struggling pork farmers are being hurt in a big way when the virus is called “swine flu.” And are hoping their proposed name “every other kind of meat flu” will stick.
Happy birthday, Catherine Zeta-Jones. You are turning 40 this month. Forty may be the new 30 but your husband is the new mummy.
Dangerous bacteria may be spraying out of your shower head and right into your face, according to a new study. The study discourages people from rubbing spoiled chicken on their showerheads.
Jessica Simpson’s beloved maltipoo Daisy was grabbed by a wild coyote that then vanished with the small dog. Turns out the coyote and maltipoo eloped and were located in the honeymoon suite at The Hotel for Dogs.
Facebook has beat its goal of getting out of the red by the year 2010. While celebrating that goal it’s downplaying it’s other goal beater, of how many annual productivity hours lost to the “What Kind of Fairy Are You?” quiz.
Jon Gosselin in prep for his divorce from Kate is getting rid of his dogs, saying “I’m tired of living with bitches.”
“The Newlywed Game” is bringing on its first gay couple. George Takei, who played Mr. Sulu on “Star Trek,” will appear with his partner, Brad Altman. In answering the question why were you attracted to your mate George answered, he went where no man had gone before.